Eremenko, Taouil and more: the Killie vibesmen we'll never forget
If there were 'Barclaysmen' for Rugby Park, these would be those
The September international break tends to feel like a distraction just as club football is getting going in earnest, something made apparent by a recent Twitter trend.
Compilation videos - often with a period appropriate soundtrack - of ‘Barclaysmen’ have been doing the rounds on the social media site to much wistful remembrance.
If you’re not terminally online, the neologism basically refers to English Premier League footballers from the 2000s and 2010s who achieved cult status rather than elite.
Thierry Henry is not a ‘Barclaysman’, nor is Frank Lampard, but Massimo Maccarone, Youri Djorkaeff, Adel Taarabt and Kevin Nolan most certainly are.
With that in mind, we’ve picked some of our favourite Killie players who would fall into that category.
We’re not talking stars like Steven Naismith or Kris Boyd, nor club stalwarts like Garry Hay and James Fowler. These are the vibes players, the ones who burned bright briefly, or were brilliant on their day, or just plain fun to watch.
Alexei Eremenko
We couldn’t really start anywhere else, could we?
In terms of pure talent, for those of us not old enough to remember the sides of the 1960s the Finn is arguably the most gifted player we’ve seen don the stripes.
Born in the Soviet Union but raised in Finland, he came to Ayrshire as a player with 35 Serie A appearances under his belt and experience in the Russian and Ukrainian top divisions.
Were it not for the connection with then manager Mixu Paatelainen it’s unlikely he’d ever have been near Rugby Park, and within minutes of his debut against St Mirren the view from the stands was a near-unanimous, “how did we get this guy?”.
He scored, of course, and his poise on the ball was immediately apparent.
Billy Dodds highlighted his set piece prowess on Sportscene after the match, though he did appear to refer to the St Mirren goalkeeper as Noel Gallagher.
If someone just cut together a compilation of his every touch from that 2010-11 season there’s not a Killie fan who wouldn’t watch every minute just to see little moments like these against Motherwell.
The fact he was beaten by Emilio Izaguirre to Player of the Year that season remains one of Scottish football’s great injustices but at least we’ll always have the time he nonchalantly skelped one in the top corner at Tynecastle.
Or just take a look at this fantastic team goal against Inverness.
Perhaps the best example of how good he was is the fact Conor Sammon scored 15 goals in 23 games with ‘Losa’ playing behind him and got a £1m move to the Premier League.
Eremenko returned to Killie in January 2014, having suffered a couple of serious knee injuries and, it must be said, not looking in the best condition.
While he didn’t quite hit the heights of his first spell his technical ability remained there for all to see and he grabbed a goal on his second debut away at Dundee United.
He grabbed three assists away to Partick Thistle in a crucial relegation six-pointer, his penultimate game for the club, having tortured them at Rugby Park in a 3-0 win a few months earlier.
It feels only appropriate to end with one of his trademark free-kicks - gone but never forgotten.
Souleymane Coulibaly
Neil Young once famously sang “it’s better to burn out than to fade away”, and though he made just 26 appearances for Killie, Ivorian striker Coulibaly will live long in the memory.
We got a taste of things to come with his stunning first goal for the club, bringing it down, turning his man and bending it in the far top corner like prime Del Piero.
There was the overhead kick away at Dundee, the run and finish against Hearts, but perhaps the best bet is just to watch all his goals in this handy compilation (just turn the sound off if you do…)
His exploits earned him an £800k move to Egyptian side Al Ahly but things didn’t work out there and Coulibaly has been itinerant ever since, turning up in Tunisia, Cyprus and, perhaps most unedifyingly, at Gary Caldwell’s Partick Thistle.
It would be remiss not to sign off with his incredible 40-yard strike to put Lee Clark’s side 1-0 up away to Celtic.
Ultimately it just served to make Brendan Rodgers’ side angry and they went on to win 6-1 but Coulibaly scored from 40 yards and that, to quote David Brent, is the real quiz.
Éric Skora
They say never fall in love with a loan player, but how could you not when he was this good?
Signed from Preston in January 2004, his arrival helped provide a spark in what was a pretty miserable season.
The Frenchman scored only three goals in his 18 games but his evident class made him a fan favourite from day one.
That day one, by the way? A 5-1 defeat at Celtic Park. With the score at 4-0, Skora picked it up in midfield after a one-two with Kris Boyd and casually chipped it over Rab Douglas from range.
The dictionary definition of a consolation goal but the away fans went wild nonetheless.
Skora did eventually return for a second spell but unfortunately by then did not have functioning knees.
He managed just one substitute appearance, a total of five minutes plus added time in a 3-1 win over Hearts at Rugby Park.
He’s currently a coach back home in France.
Gary Harkins
Arguably the ultimate vibes player, Harkins didn’t actually score that many goals or provide a great number of assists.
He didn’t even particularly look like a footballer: hairy everywhere but his head, not particularly athletic, perhaps not in ideal physical condition.
Harkins wasn’t quick, didn’t run around much and didn’t like to tackle - but he did possess extraordinary skill.
Perhaps the best summation is this piece of skill against Celtic, in which he nutmegs both Scott Brown and Efe Ambrose at the same time.
It didn’t lead to a goal, Killie lost the game 3-1, but the vibes were immaculate.
The midfielder will always retain a place in Kilmarnock folklore, having started the 2012 League Cup final, but the fact he spent most of his career in the Scottish lower leagues is perhaps an indication that the more modern, athletic game put a ceiling on how far he could go.
For those of us who enjoy seeing a slow bald guy dribbling past defenders though, we salute you, Gary Harkins.
Mehdi Taouil
There are those who will say that the Pep Guardiola school of disciplined possession has taken the risk-takers out of the game.
Where are the Ronaldinhos? The Jay-Jay Okochas? The guys who looked like they were actually having fun playing football?
Mehdi Taouil, in case it needed saying, was not Ballon d’Or, Champions League and World Cup winner Ronaldinho, nor was he Okocha - he was fun though.
Signed from Montpellier in 2007, the Moroccan international loved a trick and a flick and if his end product wasn’t always all that, well, he got the fans off their seats.
Just look at this run against Hibs - it ends in a fairly tame shot which is blocked, but what a ride to get there.
Taouil’s goal away at Motherwell in May 2009 when he combined with David Fernandez - more on him later - was a highlight and it was a sad day when he left to join Hearts.
Mehdi’s tricks caught enough attention he was even given his own segment on Soccer AM alongside a rather bemused Manuel Pascali, largely on the back of this sequence against Ayr United in the cup.
He actually scored the crucial second goal in an eventual 2-1 win that night, but it’s rubbing it in against the local rivals that remains in the memory.
Christophe Cocard
Not much sums up the early-2000s TV boom - and eventual bust - like the signing of honest-to-God French international Christophe Cocard.
The forward was capped 10 times by Les Bleus, was a Ligue 1 champion with Auxerre and arrived on a free transfer from Lyon, who had finished third in the French top flight the season before.
“Although I had offers to continue playing in France, I wanted to taste football abroad and I have heard first-class reports about Kilmarnock,” Cocard said on arrival, signing a three-year deal on a reported £6k per week.
It was hardly an unqualified success, it must be said, but when Cocard was on it he was a joy to watch.
One such occasion came in October 2000 when Bobby Williamson’s side visited Ibrox, only to find a youth team player had left the Frenchman’s boots behind.
No matter: Cocard took to the field with rubber studs and scored in a 3-0 win.
While he gave fans moments of magic, ultimately life in Ayrshire just didn’t seem to agree with Cocard.
He told the French outlet SoFoot in 2015: “The first year I signed we bought a house in a neighbourhood by a golf course.
“The same evening there came a knock at the door to invite us to dinner. It was absolutely hosing it down but they'd prepared a barbecue.
"They were grilling the sausages in windbreakers, they weren't bothered!"
He ended his contract early in 2002 to move to China and now runs a futsal centre - those boots from Ibrox probably come in handy.
David Fernandez
Unless they come through the youth system, the simple fact of the matter is that for a player to end up at Kilmarnock they’ve probably got something that means they won’t make it at the very top level.
David Fernandez had no pace to speak of and was never a goalscorer - but what a technical talent.
While probably best remembered in Scotland for his spell at Livingston, where he helped them to win the League Cup, the Spaniard’s 82 league games for Killie makes Ayrshire his longest Scottish stop.
Signed from Dundee United in 2006, he made an immediate impact coming off the bench in a League Cup tie at Queen of the South.
Fernandez’s first touch, hold-up play and vision were a bright spark in a fairly functional team.
A shocking tackle by Gary Caldwell which left him with a ruptured cruciate ligament threatened to derail his Killie career early but he was a key man for several seasons.
Anyone who watched his masterclass in a 4-2 win away to Hibs in December 2008, Kilmarnock down to 10 after Alan Combe’s red card, can testify to how good he was and he developed a joyous understanding with Garry Hay and Taouil down the left.
He even achieved the seemingly impossible in working some space, digging out a cross and winning a penalty against Rangers which Steven Naismith converted to make it 2-2 in the last minute.
Fernandez was also at the centre of one of those stories people who were there will tell for years, to increasingly disbelieving ears.
February 7, 2009. A Scottish Cup game away at Inverness. As the first half is progressing the snow starts coming down pretty heavily, obscuring the lines on the pitch.
Just before the break striker bursts into the box, is fouled by Pavels Mihadjuks, and the referee awards a free-kick. At half-time the terrible truth is revealed - the lines are swept and the Fernandez snow angel is clearly inside the box, cue outrage from the travelling fans at the other end.
I was there and I swear this happened.
These are just some of the players we felt fit the bill - other suggestions included James Dayton, Tope Obadeyi, Willie Gibson and Borja Perez. Let us know some of your favourites in the comments.